


Pride Goeth

by cinnabun



Category: Deltarune (Video Game), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Contests, Cute, Fluff, Gen, Rest in Pieces Rouxls, Rouxls Eats It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 04:44:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17298017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinnabun/pseuds/cinnabun
Summary: --Before a fall. Rouxls decides he needs some help babysitting the Royal Pain, and lucky for you, he decides you're the perfect candidate to help him do it.{ 3k One-Shot Commission: Rouxls Kaard/Reader }





	Pride Goeth

* * *

 

Rouxls looked like he was going to pass out.

“That zany oaf is always casting off his knave of a son to me. Do I looketh the part of a nanny? This was not within the constraints of mine contract!”

You nodded sympathetically, rubbing small circles across his back. Whatever Rouxls was made of—because you certainly couldn’t call it flesh, tingled against the touch of your palm.

“I used to babysit my neighbor’s kids all the time. It’s tough when they get to the age where they—how old is Lancer anyway?”

“The age where everything he does ist to sendeth me up the walls!”

That wasn’t exactly the answer you were looking for, but knowing Rouxls, it was probably the clearest answer you would end up getting.

“Uh-huh. So, where’s he at now?”

“In his chambers,” The elevator shuddered to a stop, and Rouxls bowed, ushering you out. “He’s been listening to those accursed MP3’s again! They are driving me mad!!”

Despite the wildness in his eyes, the dark circles beneath them spoke otherwise. His smile was locked into place, hands clasped in front of his chest as beads of sweat grew on his forehead.

“So that’s why I made to call thee here! Prithee,” in a flash he grabbed your shoulders, voice shaking as he clung to you, “Save me!”

The fact that he hadn’t added “eth” somewhere in the phrase made you know this was serious. Or maybe he’d just forgotten. It was probably the first option, though.

“Don’t worry about it, Rouxls. I’ve got this.”

“Oh, thank thee!” He fell to his knees, cradling your hands in his own as his shoulders shook with his sobs of relief. “I oweth thou a hundred kindnesses to taketh this weight off mine shoulders!”

You rolled your eyes, peeling his fingers away, one by one. “You’re such a drama queen.”

“Art not!” He gasped. “Just wait until you get a handful of this ruffian—then we will see whomst is the bigger drama queen!”

It didn’t matter if the kid was juggling knives in his room, you were pretty sure Rouxls was always going to own that title.

“Alright, alright.” You waved him off, smiling as a little pout crossed his features. “Just show me where Lancer is, and I’ll take over from here.”

“Prithee, do as thou wishes!” He waved you towards the ever-familiar spade-shaped doorway of Lancer’s room. “Take him off my hands for the rest of eternity, why don’t you??”

You knocked on the door, rolling your eyes again as Rouxls sulked off to the side.

“Lancer? You home, buddy?”

In a flash, the door swung open. Lancer bolted out, clutching your legs with a wide, toothy grin.

“Hey, it’s my friend!” He jumped up and down while continuing to hang onto you. “Are you here to hang out with me??”

His little tongue poked out as you ruffled the top of his head…cap, thing. “I sure am, buddy! What are you up to today?”

“Susie made me a new playlist!” He chirped.

“Oh, that’s nice,” you replied, smiling, “who’s Susie?”

“She’s my best friend!” His smile widened, dipping a little as he stated, “She’s not…um…from around here.”

That was code for: I’m hiding something. Rouxls gave you a dramatic stare, as if to say: “See what I’m dealing with?”

“How about we listen to your playlist together and you can tell me more about Susie?” You offered, allowing him to lead you through the door into his room.

It looked the same as it always did, complete with his bike tucked neatly into his bed. There was a nightcap perched atop the handlebars.

Lancer looked up at you and made a conspiratorial shushing motion. “He’s sleeping.”

“Oh, what’s wrong?” You asked, tilting your head. “Is he _two_ tired?”

Like a chain reaction, Lancer burst into giggles, quickly followed by Rouxls throwing his head back and groaning in emotional agony.

He led you to the middle of his room, where his mp3 player sat waiting patiently. It was set on pause mid-song. Or cartoon sound effect compilation. It was hard to tell with Lancer.

“Okay, okay! You use this one, and I’ll use this one!” He instructed, handing you one of the ear buds, and slipping the other under his cap.

You did as he said, sitting and waiting patiently as he scrolled through the list of options.

“Um, I think…you’ll like…this one!” He stopped finally, and pressed play.

A deafening screech blasted straight into your brain, knocking you backwards with shock. Lancer started headbanging. Rouxls stood, leaning against the wall, and giving you a sympathetic grimace.

“Isn’t it awesome?” Lancer yelled, despite the fact that you were right next to him. “Susie’s so cool, and she’s got the best taste in music!!”

You forced yourself to smile, holding the bud just away from the shell of your ear. You could still hear the song blaring through, loud and clear, even from that distance. It made you cringe, wondering exactly how Lancer’s little ears could deal with it. Or where his ears were at all.

“Does Susie always listen to this kind of music?” You asked, hoping to turn the conversation away from actually listening to it.

Lancer nodded energetically. “She’s so badass!”

He stopped, clapping his hands over his mouth with a gasp. Immediately, he turned to look from you to Rouxls.

“Excuseth me?” Oh boy, you knew that tone. “What didst thou just say, worme?”

“I said cool!” Lancer rushed to backtrack his statement. “Susie is really, really cool!”

“That ist most certainly not what thou had sayeth!” Rouxls threw his hands up in the air, as if pleading with the heavens to grant him mercy. “Truly, I’m not sure who to blame more, you, your father, or your new friends!”

“I vote we blame Spades.” You added simply.

“Me too.” Lancer mumbled, looking down at the floor. “Dad says bad words all the time.”

“That is because your father is—” Rouxls started, his hands curled into claws in front of him. He stopped suddenly, turning to glance at the doorway. Nobody was there, but he still stepped closer, his voice dropping into a whisper. “Not the most respectable of role models!!”

The three of you went still after that, practically expecting to hear Spades screaming all the way from his throne room. The man had ears like a hawk. After a few seconds of silence, you relaxed.

“So, what’s on the agenda for today?” You asked Lancer, crossing your legs into a more comfortable sitting position.

His mouth opened, but no sound came out. He stopped, one finger crooked up in an explanative pose. Slowly, it wilted back down as his expression fell.

“Uh…I don’t know. I didn’t think anyone was coming over, so I didn’t plan anything.”

Lancer’s tongue poked out as he pouted. “I’m sorry, I’m a bad friend.”

“You’re not a bad friend, sweetheart.” You assured him. “We can make our own plans!”

“Yeah…”

You thought for a moment. “Last time I was here you were practicing riding your bike, weren’t you?”

“Yeah?”

“So,” drawing the word out, you gestured with your hands, “how’s that been going?”

“Good!” He sat, still scrolling through the mp3 player. Suddenly, with a gasp, Lancer dropped it, jumping to his feet with his arms outstretched at his sides. “Oh! I know what we can do!! I can show you my new moves!!!”

Rouxls buried his face in his hand and groaned.

Lancer stuck his tongue out at him. “Don’t pay attention to him, he’s just jealous of my sweet bike skills!”

“Oh, please.” Came the sassy reply. “I could careth less about thy childish exploits.”

“You don’t even know how to ride a bike! I bet you couldn’t even do a wheelie.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Yeah!!” Lancer’s grin grew wild. “You have to do a wheelie on my bike. If I win, you have to be my butler for a whole day!”

{Is that not what I am already…?} You could practically hear the thought in Rouxls’s mind. He seemed to consider it for a moment, before his own smile skewed up in a playfully malicious way.

“Deal! But thou must solveth one of mine puzzles. If thou were to lose, thou must give me peace and quiet for the rest of the day! Not a peep from thy worme-y little mouth!”

“Oh no!” Lancer tugged on your sleeve, one hand held up over his mouth to shield his face as he whispered. “Lesser Dad’s puzzles are really hard!”

Bless his little heart. You’d been dealing with Rouxls and his…”puzzles” from Day One, and through all that time, you had yet to see something more creative than a box and a button.

But you had to give him credit, he was dedicated to his style, if anything.

“So, who’s going to be the judge?”

“Why, thou, of course!” Rouxls chirped as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

And that was how you found yourself watching Lancer stare at a box for what had to be the past five solid minutes.

He stood there, tongue sticking out of the side of his mouth, and a look of utter concentration on his face. Lancer tapped the side of his cheek, circling around the puzzle over and over. Like he was trying to find the best angle to approach it from.

Rouxls stood off to the side, striking that dramatic pose that you’d come to know so well, with his arms spread wide, hands twisted towards the sky. You’d lovingly dubbed it his “T Pose.” It certainly came off as a sign of dominance, at least.

“Victory is mine!” He cackled, looking so proud of himself for being able to outwit a child. “Grovel in the dirt, worme, and bow before the almighty puzzle-making skills of—"

Lancer pushed the box. It landed on the neighboring button with a resounding click.

Rouxls expression froze, eyes wide as his smile sat crooked on his face. You could see sweat beading on his forehead, his fingers tensing back into claws as he hissed between grit teeth.

“God. Dammit.”

“I did it!” Lancer cheered, planting his hands on his hips. He turned towards you both on his ankle, chest puffed up at his accomplishment.

You clapped, if just for the sake of pity. “You sure did, and it only took you, what, seven minutes?”

“Six and a half!” He crowed proudly. His tongue remained half-revealed in playful jest as he stabbed a finger in the frozen advisor’s direction. “That's 1-0, Lesser Dad! At this rate, you might as well give up now!”

“Oh, I’ll show you, you little—” Rouxls voice dropped into an inaudible grumble. He was visibly seething over the loss. You sighed, patting his shoulder reassuringly.

“Well, it’s your turn, hon.”

His eyes were pleading as he turned to you. “Don’t I get a bonus for…I don’t knoweth, emotional relevance? My charm? My wit?”

“As the judge, I have a right to reserve my bias.” You stated calmly, biting back the urge to grin at the frustration that flashed across his handsome face.

“Blast it all!” Rouxls shouted. “Bring on the challenge, then! Whatever thou can do, I can most certainly do better!”

“I can do anything better than you!” Lancer shouted back.

“No, thou can’t!”

“Yes, I can!”

“No, thou can’t!” Rouxls took a step forward.

“Yes, I can!” Lancer repeated the action.

“No, thou can’t!” Rouxls screamed, throwing his hands up.

“Yes, I can!” Lancer stomped his feet, practically throwing a tantrum. “Yes, I can!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” You pushed between them, resting one hand on your boyfriend’s chest, and the other on the little prince’s cap. “Nothing’s been decided yet. You’re up, Rouxls.”

“But! But!” His squinted at you, leaning in to whisper in a vicious tone. “I don’t know how to ride a bike!!”

“That’s not my problem.” Honestly, you kind of felt bad for him. But Rouxls had brought this totally on himself for picking a fight with a little kid, so you figured knocking him off his high horse wouldn’t be the most terrible thing to happen to him.

Watching him try to keep his balance on Lancer’s bike, however, was absolutely pitiful. It was one size too small, enough that he had to hunch of the whole thing just to fit on it. His long legs stuck out in crooked angles as he tried to keep them steady on the pedals. Every so often, the bike would wiggle a little, and Rouxls would immediately put his feet down to keep from falling.

He looked so pathetic. It took everything in you not to laugh.

Instead, you did what you hoped was the right choice. You cheered him on.

“Come on, Rouxls!” You called. “You’ve got this, I believe in you!”

Lancer followed with, “Nah, he’ll never get it!”

You gave him a pointedly unamused look, to which he just cackled in that impish, high-pitched way, kicking back to watch the show.

Rouxls pushed his foot down on one pedal. The bike pushed forward, agonizingly slow. But even that alone was enough to bring a triumphant smile to his face. “I did it!”

“You’re doing it!” You shouted encouragingly. “Good job!”

He pushed the other pedal, scooting a bit more. Bit by bit, he began pedaling in long, even strides. The bike sailed down the walkway, with Rouxls whooping the entire time.

“I did it! I’m riding a bike!” His voice was missing its usual dramatic flair, replaced entirely with completely genuine joy. Rouxls peered over his shoulder, grinning widely at you both in a way that begged for karmic retribution. “Look, wormes, and despair, as I—!”

Sure enough, while he was distracted, Rouxls missed the conveniently position rock that laid in his path. The bike jumped at it hit the blockage, curving in a beautiful arc that sent both it and Rouxls sailing through the air.

You winced as you watched him absolutely eat it. Thankfully the roads weren’t made of pavement, or else he would really have crashed and burned. The bike was utterly smashed, the wheels bent, and handlebars twisted beyond repair. It was amazing what could happen in a matter of moments.

Lancer jumped to his feet, clutching his face in horror, as he stared open-mouthed at the wreckage. “Nooo!!!”

“Do not worry!” A hand shot up from the crumpled pile that was Rouxls. He slowly pulled himself into a sitting position, smiling assuredly as Lancer rushed towards him.

“Do not fret, young worme, for I hath survived—”

Lancer rushed past him and collapsed on the pile of bent and twisted metal, sobbing hysterically. “My bike!! My brand-new bike!!!”

“You have got impeccable timing.” You muttered, crouching down next to your shocked boyfriend. His jaw hung open, eyes bugged out in sheer disbelief, with his arm still outstretched to welcome the embrace that never came.

He watched the little prince drop to his knees, lifting the remains of the bike up like he was cradling a body. As he threw his head back to howl mournfully, Rouxls rolled his eyes.

“I cannot believe— Oh, yes, worme! Fret over thy toy and completely shun thy Lesser Father!” He pouted dramatically, glaring daggers at the bike.

Lancer’s only response was a long, drawn out comedic shriek. “WHEELIE!!!”

You snort-giggled into your palm, your smile only growing as Rouxls turned his cross expression to you. You offered him a half-hearted apologetic shrug. “Sorry.”

He sighed and leaned back, resting back on his arms as he stared up towards the pitch-black expanse looming above you both. “Well, I suppose this dictates that I’ve lost the duel?”

“In terms of successfully doing something? Yeah, definitely. Unless you want to count the crash as—” The daggers he was glaring at you had you cutting off your statement with another round of giggles. “Sorry.”

He sighed deeply, eyes closing as his body heaved with the dramatic effort. Only to look back up, peeking at you curiously as you quietly followed with, “In terms of making this the best day I’ve had all week? You’d take first place with no contest.”

His expression was thoughtful for a moment. Then, he smiled softly. His dark eyes sparkled. “Well, despite mine screw-ups, I must say that having thou with me hast made this…quite a good day for me, too.”

You joined him on your back, the both of you staring up at the sky in a contemplative silence. Your fingers drew together, palms clasped as you intertwined your fingers. Rouxls squeezed your hand affectionately. You smiled.

“Thank ye,” he spoke after a moment. “For being here.”

“Thanks for inviting me.” You replied simply, squeezing his hand in return.

Though the Dark World was kind of plain, there was something about it that made it feel like Home to you. More than likely, Rouxls played a great part in that nostalgic, welcoming sensation. And you suspected that he felt the same.

Lancer came to join you a moment later. He was still obviously miffed, but he didn’t say a word. Sniffling, he just plopped down between you both. Your bodies cradled him, and he snuggled into the cocoon, his tiny hands propped behind his head.

He seemed more than comfortable, and you couldn’t help but think that this was a kind of situation that he didn’t get to experience often. Though he was upset over his bike, he relaxed almost immediately as you both shifted to give him a little more room.

“Hey,” Lancer said, turning his head up to look at Rouxls, “are you okay, Lesser Dad?”

“Yes, worme,” came Rouxls’s reply. He glanced from Lancer, to you, and then back up. His voice was gentle and filled with a warmth that had your heart fluttering in your chest. “I am more than alright.”

“Good.” Out poked that tiny tongue. “Because dad is gonna be so mad.”

 

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> My first time writing a Deltarune-related fic! I had so much fun with this prompt, imagining Rouxls trying (and failing) to ride Lancer's bike was an absolute blast. As always, thanks to my lovely commissioner, who's been commissioning me now for what's got to be going on 2-3 years! You're incredible, and I appreciate you more than words can say.
> 
> (Also I'd like to apologize for the butchered Shakespearean dialect--and the silly "Annie Get Your Gun" reference.)
> 
> Feedback is greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading!! ❤
> 
> \- cinnabun


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